My fiancée and I just flatly say we can’t have kids and that shuts most people up.
Never mind the reason why we can’t have kids is because we don’t like them.
My fiancée and I just flatly say we can’t have kids and that shuts most people up.
Never mind the reason why we can’t have kids is because we don’t like them.
I personally want to work for a world where the choice of having an offspring doesn't ruin you financially
I see that among my wifes friends and i think its the genuine wish to be at a similar stage in life. To do playdates and shit together.
Misery loves company
.... uhhh I would be genuinely distrurbed if all those parents chose to defecate in unison in a ring... but aye consenting adults can all do what they want so I wish them all fun.
/jk
If they don't know anyone who chose differently, then their choice just cannot have been a mistake
I don’t think I’ll ever have kids precisely because of how much work and responsibility they are. But if I ever have a kid, it would not be mine; this world is too fucked up to bring a new person into, I would instead adopt one of the many kids who need a parent
I heard from a social worker that adoption is kinda the easy way. Foster parenting is harder, as you get more difficult cases. In any way, children need good households to grow up in
i think because for adoption, it seen like getting a new puppy/kitten you can mold to your needs, and its mostly toddlers and babies, older children are less likely to get adopted. with a older child, they already have baggage with them, much harder to raise.
Yes, adopting older children is for sure more difficult and important
i think adoption is harder than fostering, you dont have to deal much with the child. but adoption you have to raise it as your own. also if you are going through "official"channels its very difficult.
Interesting debates to be had on state influence.
Like in "Silo" where even natural birth rights were given and taken by authorities with potential for abuse.
I would also argue that the ratio of unsuited parents is significantly smaller in people seeking adoption than in those that just happen to create children in their own.
I have more respect for that lady than I have for all the people who have kids anyway and then just neglect them.
what a shit take by the coworkers
imagine thinking somebody accurately assessing a situation and not wanting to be a shitty parent is disappointing
I've got a lot less respect for shitty parents and people who don't think things through
Let me state first that I LOVE my kids and enjoy every second with them.
That being said, if you realized you don't like having kids after the fact then misery loves company and kids are A LOT of work and expense.
i think that if someone is legit mad because you don't have kids, then it's not that you don't have kids, it's that your extra time and money aren't thrown out the window, and their "it's SoOoOoOo worth it, though!!!" is replied to with "of course it is! drinks after work? no? maybe over the weekend? no? just let us know, i guess..."
She's right in that they are a lot of work, but they're worth it if you want children in the first place.
It's all about what you think the work is worth, I guess. Anything in life that you want, and you need to work for, you do the work if you want it badly enough. Pretty simple.
But they can't choose to be born. Having children is intrinsically a non-consensual act.
That's not really relevant to the point I'm making but, yeah, it's not a consensual act to have offspring. Nothing that's ever been born has chosen to be born. But countless things have been happy they were.
In the words of Stephen Colbert, "It's a gift to exist."
Obviously quite dependent on circumstances...
also if its financially feasible too.
It's to convince themselves they made the "right" choice by having kids. Because deep down I'm sure there's a part of them that wished they hadn't. And when they see another person who actually chose to not have kids, it only reminds them of a life they didn't get, which upsets them.
She would probably have to get a second job to support them which means she would never see them and she would be working all the time and miserable.
Having a kid costs so much money it's hard to explain even to my parents one of whom was a grant writer and nonprofit organizer for children's healthcare.
If you don't have at least $50,000 in the bank that you could spend without suffering you're not ready for what the hospital is going to do to you. We have totally fucked this whole country up.
But we need new people here. We don't necessarily need Americans to make them. Plenty of people see what we do here and come here anyway. They are willing and ready to make the kind of sacrifices necessary have another generation of their family, and we generally as a society are benefiting from their ambitions to do that.
I don't understand how so many people can be so pro-birth and anti-human at the same time, but I don't begrudge people who run the numbers and say the math doesn't math and so abstain from having children.
I think it's a little crazy to bring children into the world as it stands today. I feel really guilty for having my kids, I should have foreseen this.
Even if the world was a much better place, if you don't want kids you shouldn't be a parent. But that's what they want, they want bad parents so they csn act like they're better.
I feel really guilty for having my kids, I should have foreseen this.
In a world full of dragons, raise dragon slayers.
Most people who have children don't know how to do it right and too many are children themselves emotionally/mentally, so they model all the bad behaviors they punish the children for, it's crazy! They punish for natural emotional responses to life events and don't care to understand what's going on, just blame as bad and punish. Enmeshment and other unhealthy, dysfunctional ways they think are normal and good. They do the same unhealthy ways they never questioned and stay in low-level thinking, easier, fit in with others, tradition, "we turned out good enough" they delude themselves.
also puts alot of pressure on woman to have kids, thats why they often get to stay home longer after reaching way past adulthood than if it was a man, apparently its the opposite.
Based on what Ive been seeing on the news and seeing no change to stop it? Their plans for them involve Epstein type thoughts and actions. (if you know what I mean...)
Having children puts me in the minority where I work. I'd say maybe 30% have children, but it's never really discussed. I guess I've seen it elsewhere, but I assume this is a social pressure mostly aimed at women.
I’ve never met a parent irl that didn’t respect my choice.
They always agree with my reasoning and they either say that they really wanted them anyway or that it just happened and they have to deal with it.
Maybe when I was in my twenties there were some weirdos that would say shit like, “they’d be so beautiful”.
Lmao. Society will be fine with less people. If society needs more people, then they can fucking pay them to have children. Literally, it's that fucking easy. I have friends with three fucking jobs, when would they get to see their kids?
So the option you give is more work or bringing a innocent to the world to make them work in hell... Yeah clearly a visionary
No no no. I didn't say pay people more, though that would help.
Pay people to have and raise children. Having children is work, and if it is integral to society, it should be paid. Reproductive labor (i.e. the labor used to replace the workforce) is currently unpaid, which isn't particularly crazy given that we always undervalue it, like education and childcare. Pay people for their labor.
But, as for your last question, how about rich people? Those motherfuckers got an endless supply of money, why don't they pay the fuck up?
Cool, so why do we need to have children in that case? I don't see any reasons in there to maintain current levels of population, even if the rich were paying their fair share, which they're not.
It just sounds like you think we need more children to feed to the machine, and I disagree.
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