Or:

• Overnight dishwasher strikes a misaligned pan suddenly
• Wind causes collar beam in roof to flex taught creating footstep sounds above
• Toilet fan rattles against sudden negative pressure outside
• Neighbour lets off firearm indoors
• Chunk of render decides to break off and fall through the wall cavity

Neighbor: sexy time

Ice Machine? Some bourgeoisie shit right there.

My fridge doesn’t have an ice machine. However, it does make a hum reminiscent of Hypnotoad. I’ll be lying in bed and picturing:

The people in the apartment above me keep moving in and out. Pisses me off, especially since they rearrange furniture in the middle of the night like they're practicing Feng Shui or something.

It never fails to amaze me at just how much decision making power my unconscious self has. All manner of random household noises can happen and it will never wake me up, but the sound of a soft rainfall when I've left my windows open will wake me every time.

Mine has a trigger happy servo that just click clicks all night long once a month.

I’ve taken to shutting off the ice machine when the container is full. That way we don’t end up with stale, half-sublimated ice cubes sitting in the bottom of the container. Also gives us the opportunity to clean the bin if needed.

Laundry machine finishing and stove keeping same beep noise

I am imagining op, maybe a scarred combat vet, hearing the crashing and rolling out of bed, grabbing the 45 caliber handgun from under his pillow, then sneak creeping around the house and yard in his underwear looking for the intruder.

Universal truths are universal