[image of small white cross on side of road] "Ever notice that Christians are bad drivers?"

all 40 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] 60 points 2 months ago (10 children)

"Jesus take the wheel!"

I don't think he even has a driving licence.

  • source
  • hideshow 10 child comments
  • [–] 36 points 2 months ago (6 children)

    Got it revoked for DUI probably. His BAC is the same as wine.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 6 child comments
  • [–] 12 points 2 months ago (4 children)

    If he drove his car into a lake, would it float or would he just burst thru the roof like a bond villain?

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 4 child comments
  • [–] 6 points 2 months ago (2 children)

    Of course he has a drivers licence, he drove a Honda Accord

    1000001502

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 40 points 2 months ago

    Yeah but compare their driving record to atheists’ driving record. How often do you see nothing sitting by the side of the road?

  • source
  • [–] 30 points 2 months ago (1 child)

    According to the county I live in, if you graffiti a highway train bridge with images of Jesus it's fine for a decade to leave that up until someone adds little red devil horns, then it gets painted over within a week.

  • source
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 26 points 2 months ago (6 children)

    They shouldn't wear seatbelts

    Let them put their faith to the test

  • source
  • hideshow 6 child comments
  • [–] 32 points 2 months ago (5 children)

    On a serious note.

    I knew a woman who would not wear a seatbelt, her reasoning? If she wore one, it would signal to god that she didn't trust him.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 5 child comments
  • [–] 12 points 2 months ago

    Did… did you know my mom? She’s literally bitched my entire life about how she shouldn’t have to wear one if she doesn’t want to and that if she died in an accident she would “go on to glory”, it took my baby brother balling his eyes out that he didn’t want her to die to get her to do it. I still have doubts that she wears one if she’s in the car by herself. For context I’m now in my 40s

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 13 points 2 months ago

    I saw a video where daughters were arguing with their mother about turning the car off while it was being fueled. She refused to because "do you not trust Jesus? If we die, it is God's will. I trust him and will not interfere". Dangerous morons.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 21 points 2 months ago

    Well, cars weren't around in Jesus' time. No idea why they keep asking him to drive

  • source
  • [–] 20 points 2 months ago

    Atheist: shit, I'm sliding out! Better get this under control.

    Christian: Jesus, take the wheel!

  • source
  • [–] 17 points 2 months ago (1 child)

    Yes. I've been on motorcycles the better part of my life and I give any vehicles with religious stickers a wide berth.

    College alumni stickers are also an excellent bad driver indicator.

  • source
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 15 points 2 months ago (12 children)

    Blame the vehicle industry.
    A good Christian rides camels, horses, and multiple wifes.

  • source
  • hideshow 12 child comments
  • [–] 6 points 2 months ago (11 children)
  • [–] 8 points 2 months ago (7 children)
  • [–] 1 point 2 months ago (6 children)

    How would a centaur wear pants

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 6 child comments
  • [–] 4 points 2 months ago (5 children)

    You want Leah to wear clothes?

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 5 child comments
  • [–] 2 points 2 months ago (3 children)
  • [–] 1 point 2 months ago (2 children)

    Correct. Although she'll always be second choice for me. Unfortunately the best partner in pelican town is with the only person there who's more autistic than me.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 1 point 2 months ago (1 child)

    Ah, if only there were some poly people in pelican town 😥

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • There are a bunch of them. Thanks to my rabbit foot, they are blissfully unaware that they're poly though. Anyway I refuse to share robin with Demetrius. The man's controlling, annoying, boring and frightfully pedantic. Robin can do better. Actually wile I'm at it I'm going to save Marnie from a life of being hidden away like she's something to be ashamed of. Fuck you Lewis! Her life's hard enough without you treating her like shit! Me, Marnie, Robin, and Leah getting trashed on ancient fruit wine in my barn during the week and doing peyote with Sandy on the weekend.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 2 points 2 months ago (2 children)

    حَرِيمٌ
    monogamy is a recent western sabotage propaganda.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 9 points 2 months ago

    It's the perfect religion for being an utter psychopath.

    No matter what, you're forgiven if you believe some Palestinian dude a couple thousand years ago is the only son of a supreme deity.

    It's such a dovetail with capitalism it's criminal; be horrible, go to the good afterlife anyway‽

  • source
  • [–] 6 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

    as a kid used to get in competitions on who would spot more of these crosses during road trips, we got lots of mountain serpentines, thus many of these near cliffs

  • source