TIL quick release cranks.

But my goodness, that's a clever roadside bodge!

Why go to the shop if it is fixed already?

I was conflicted on commenting, since I'd just be echoing what everyone else said. But whatever... This is a seriously cool kludge to get you down the road.

Do the QR skewer end bits hit your ankle bones and shoes?

great fix. but QR crank?!?

Very creative indeed, well done!

I once snapped the derailleur hanger but I had a chain breaker and a spare quick link with me so I converted it into single speed to get back home but I fitted the chain to a wrong cog on the rear cassette so it kept downshifting making the chain extremely tight so I took a twig and twisted it around the cassette to prevent the chain from jumping up. That got me back home 15km away.

I am curious what happened to the other side of the hex key

haha very ghetto and yet it worked