The devil has to go first so he won't know how much better to make it.

In my expirience i will always win unless the handjob is within 5-10 days of distance because every handjob after the first one is just not as good in that window of time

If he waits i can just do one every once in a while until he gets bored or i forget for more than 5-10 days

So, you're both in heaven and the last person to leave loses, assuming you mean just out of the two of you (since this is about winning a competition against the devil), the devil would leave immediately and win. Are you assuming the devil can't then claim your soul since you're already in heaven? Why not just make it "the last one to leave wins" and then you and the devil are in a staying-in-heaven stalemate.

Bro, what if heaven sucks shit?

The old story/song, "The Devil Went Down to Georgia," isn't about a young man winning a bet against the Devil that he's a better fiddle player. It's the devil tricking poor Johnny into the sins of pride and greed.

The Devil pretended to lose so that Johnny would think that he was the best fiddle player in the world, even better than the all-powerful devil himself. (Pride) And then Johnny claims a reward of a solid-gold fiddle. (Greed) Johnny just cursed his soul to damnation, thinking he could actually beat the devil at his own game. It was a no-win scenario; the devil claims his soul either way.

People may say, "Well Charlie Daniels beat him."

Charlie Daniels is also a magical creature.

So is Les Claypool. (Primus covered it)

The dumbest thing he could do is appear and offer a deal.

If He exists, than so does God, so it makes sense to be good, because you know it's worth it in the end.

Which gives a different slant to the saying 'the best trick the Devil ever pulled was making people stop believing in Him.'

No, magic stuff is for nerds so it's always some logic puzzle....

....just challenge him to a devil defeating competition. You win, he's defeated. He wins he's defeated. Either way he has to wither and die.

That's just how nerds be.

Not up to Georgia standards at any rate

Idk if that qualifies as a contest of skill though. Sounds pretty much like a "not being the devil competition"

Just one catch: the reason we have world hunger is not the number of people or a shortage of food. It's just politics, power abuse and warfare. Unless those dynamics change we could be a tenth of the current world population and still have famine.

The devil doesn’t send people to Hell. God does. The devil is just there to receive and punish the people God determined weren’t good enough for Heaven.

First, the existence of hell does not necessitate the existence of heaven. The existence of the Devil doesn't even require a God. Maybe that's just the story we tell ourselves because the truth is too bleak.

You don't think I could do it with 2 nubs?

But then you could get robot devil hands and play the shit out of a holophoner to win the love of a one eyed alien babe

Considering that Lucifer was basically a narcissist, that tracks.

How do you measure this though?

Whoever dies for the last time first

He's The Devil.

He could make himself look like Elizabeth Hurley

Giving or getting?

I was just thinking the same, he doesn't have to put 100% of his effort in. Just 1% more than yours.