Look into vaginismus, it's fairly common and way too many women suffer because they don't know about it.

Try talking to your gynecologist about this issue (and possibly to a couple other gynecologists after that!)

Like others have said talk to a gyno. You should not be in pain. They will be able to help you sort out what’s going so you can enjoy intimacy.

Please go and see a doctor about this. You may have a medical condition (endometriosis or other) that makes penetrative sex extremely painful.

That does not mean you cannot enjoy sex, but it is important to get clarity on this before you do anything else.

Hey. Just a quick anatomy check here. A lot of women and other vulva havers have never actually gotten a mirror and image out and mapped their parts to their names. In some cases people have been mistaken, trying to push things inside their eurethra rather than their vagina. This can cause a lot of pain and does not generally result in sexual enjoyment.

Secondly, mechanically, this is supposed to be a fairly wet process. Dry fingers are really good for causing damage, but absolutely terrible for pleasure. They can cause abraisions in the soft tissue and even draw blood without any malice or significant force. Try using a lot, and I mean what feels like too much and then some, water based lubricant. I would recommend KY as a great starter as it is more jelly like than many others and lasts a bit longer.

Remember, if choosing between more lube and less more is always safer, more comfortable, and lower risk. It doesn't reduce sensation, it increases it, so making sure everything is wet is important.

Water is not lubricant. Water removes all the gel features of lubricants and will dilute and wash away water based lubricants. Silicone lubricants are water resistant and can be used vaginally, but generally people find water based lubricants more comfortable and enjoyable for vaginal penetration.

Also, spend time yourself with the lubricants and a small dildo. Get to know how it feels on your own. A partner is fun, but learn singleplayer before joining a multiplayer game, you need to know what works because your partner can't feel how it feels for you, it isn't their body, they need your feedback. There is nothing wrong with enjoying your own body, it is natural and healthy and really enhances partner play as well. I guarantee you if you are with a male partner he knows a lot about what his junk needs, so it is a good idea to get that understanding for your own bits.

My first attempts were so painful that I stopped the situations. It was frustrating. I was a crazy teenager, so my amazing plan was to "fix" that problem myself with an object. It worked, I never felt pain again, but it's definitely not the recommended thing to do... I agree with the rest of the comments: go see a doctor.

Edit: In case it wasn't clear, my problem was probably my hymen, but my method is not the correct approach. Visit a gyno.

I think you should definitely see your doctor about that

You got a lot of life and exploration ahead of you. Go slowly and safely, communication is key and you will be fine. I would suggest consulting with a gynecologist though. Also to answer your question.

Only about 18% of women report reaching orgasm from vaginal penetration without any additional clitoral stimulation.

Roughly 36% of women can orgasm during penetration if their clitoris is stimulated at the same time.

Up to 80% of women require clitoral stimulation (either alone or combined with penetration) as their most reliable route to orgasm.

No, sex should not hurt. Does it hurt when you put in a tampon?

A couple of things to think about. One, yes the skin can be too tight, that can ease with time. Two, if you are not warmed up and turned on, you won't have a good time. Lube does not substitute for arousal, arousal makes room and slip, lube only makes slip. Three, penetrative sex has always felt good not bad to me but only started feeling Really Good after I'd had kids and wasn't so tight structurally.

Maybe for now do things that don't involve penetration, and talk to your GYN - you should do that before having sex anyway, to discuss birth control, etc.

Now you got lots of important medical advice that I think you should listen to. Also, you should really try to masterbate to see what you like. Try to focus on your clitoris and what's external that gets you turned on before trying internal again. Something like 70+% of women can't come from penetration alone.

You need to become the expert on what you like. Maybe try some porn or audio erotica ([Dipsea])(https://www.dipseastories.com/). Maybe get a vibrator (not an insertion toy yet) from a good sex toy shop. (Smitten Kitten, Babeland or anything that uses the words feminist, queer friendly or women's owned). If you want to learn more about sex, consent, pleasure, kink or relationships I love Dan Savage content. He's been doing it for decades and has great advice about all of this. Don't rely on your partner to know what to do. He is an expert on himself and you are learning either. Good luck

No, that should really not be your experience. I can only echo what others say: talk to your doctor. If you think about that your vagina should be capable of giving birth as a absolute maximum, an inch of a single finger should not hurt at all if you are turned on and your partners fingernails aren't an issue. Don't be ashamed - i've met multiple women who had issues like that and were able to overcome them with medical help, and if your partner is worth the trouble, he will be supporting you because he wants you to enjoy sex too.

Even women without an medical issue need time for their body to catch up to the mental readiness. What you see in most porn is totally incorrect. If all is okay, 15-30 minutes of foreplay (on the rest of her body, touch is a huge thing) is best before any actual sexual action. There are some good Youtube channels that cover how to prepare a woman's body, with the key elements being lots of touching all over, and not rushing into it. The human female body has to be convinced it is safe and secure, even if you feel turned on, but once the parts are relaxed, sex is not painful at all.

That being said, a lot of the other comments seem to pinpoint one direction to talk to a doctor about. If even your own touching hurts, something isn't right. But once you figure that out, teach your partner to help you get both mentally and physically ready and take time to enjoy it.

Yes some do sometimes, but talk to your gyno: That's something they can probably help you with.

Obviously I am unfamiliar with your personal situation, but a friend experienced a similar thing in her relationship:

She got diagnosed with vaginismus, which is basically involuntary muscle spasm around the vagina, which makes penetration painful to impossible.

I believe what helped her (alongside talking therapy), was using a dialator set/kit (basically very soft, untextured dildos that start very small (a few mm, and go up to about the size of a penis), which are explicitly made to help with Vaginismus.

She initially was treating more it a bit more like physio than intimacy; according to her BF, she didn't realise you are supposed to effectively masturbate with them, apparently she would just lay there with one in and then wonder why there wasn't much improvement, her therapist corrected her regarding this.

I also found out that her BF didn't like sucking/playing with her nipples (also correctly guessed he was bottle fed from that, haha). Told him to stop being an idiot and engage with that bit and it's no longer an issue for them; turns out getting your partner turned on and really in the mood can help - who'd have thought!

Another suggestion that has a much more immediate impact, but is less conventional and does carry some risks so I'll mention it for the sake of covering all bases;

Poppers as in Alkyl Nitrites, the things that are popular in the gay clubbing scene, help massively with this by reducing the constriction of smooth muscles in the body/abdomin... (Meaning it loosens the muscles in the wall of your vagina, and also your butt), it also has secondary affects on blood pressure and makes you feel slightly drunk and mild euphoric

No. It doesn’t hurt. It’s not pain for most of us… i hope! Not for me.

Not in general, but some might.