My life is incredibly complex. My work has 4 subroles that I do that are all scheduled adhoc to a max of 6 weeks in advance. My wife has a changing work rota too. 2 young kids have things we need to keep track of all the time. The tools I use are:
Shared calendar with the wife - kids, work schedules, annual leave, social commitments go here.
Work calendar - need to be very strict with putting everything on this calendar immediately.
To-do list (for me this is pen and paper) - I make a list of everything that needs doing that I can think of. And a seperate list of the things I want to do this week. Realistically, when you are planning outtasks like this, take your best estimated time for a taskand at least double it.