i cringe when they do durability reviews of new phones -- nobody intentionally stabs them with blades or burn them and it ALWAYS either liquid inundation, physical force, or theft.

That's my guess too. Most reviewers had a product for only one or two weeks, and lots of owner complaints show up a month later.

Was thinking the same. Most reviewers get sent a bunch of things to test so spend a short amount of time. Plus there is no incentive to judge longevity as long as people buy it, and they get commission