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So apparantly it wasn't politics that was causing my depression, I am probably just cursed with this... (piefed.ca)
submitted 3 days ago by to c/mentalhealth@lemmy.world
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I mean I thought like "Oh great, blue tsunami. Surely I would stop being depressed and juse ride the wave and be happy right? There's hope!" I mean the logical part of my brain does see the "atmosphere" much better already.

But then emotionally its still the same darkness, maybe just one shade lighter than before, but the depression is from somewhere else.

I guess the consolation to my depression is that my state has a blue trifecta from the election so minimum wage is gonna go up to $15 but its done in phases incrementally so its only $15 by 2029, also automatically tied to inflation once the $15 is in effect so future increases is automatic and does not require governor or state legislature to be blue again.

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[–] [S] 1 point 2 days ago (1 child)

Hmmm yea I was on vacation (well I obviously couldnt afford it on my own, its more like a family thing), but like the vacation high ended as soon as we got back, oh yeah btw my mom was kinda weird af the whole time, like I cant even go get a soda on my own and she was like "omg its soo unsafe" like jesus christ wtf. I mean this is exactly why I dont have any skill to be independent, literally doesnt feel comfortable of letting me out of sight, like yes I get it, thanks for paying for the trip mom, but I'm 24, I thought you want me to "grow up", why suffocate me like that? But I even then I still had moments of like "omg, wtf am I doing" cuz people be partying and I feel lonely. (Too anxious to talk to random people honestly, especially when my mom's around hovering over me like 9/10 of the time). So I lowkey went on a trip with someone emotionally abusive, i mean like better than being stuck at home with the emotionally abusive person I guess. (To clarify: I'm not being ungrateful for the trip, just like, I feel suffocated even when my mom is "being nice")

But yea I guess I'm gonna keep going though photos and videos of it that I took there... just hang on to a past forever.

(Went to Canada btw,)

But yea anyways, now....

I'm supposed to find a job now (cuz I dont wanna be "lazy and useless" in my parents view) and since I'm supposed to find a job anyways, I might as well move, cuz I dont wanna stay at home with the toxcitity, like I want to find a random city to move to but like... between the idea of security deposits and finding enough income, and just meal planning myself, kinda overwhelming.

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  • [–] 2 points 2 days ago

    Yeah, that's a lot. It's absolutely understandable and pretty typical to find all that hugely intimidating. You identified some great goals there. You want a job, the toxic repetitiveness might want to first say (because lazy etc) and here's a chance to rewire those grooves, it could also make you feel accomplished and productive. (Glass half full, they both exist, at first maybe try and see both). You feel pretty suffocated by your parents and you are able to see they have some toxic mindsets that don't serve them, that they possibly can't see. It's actually pretty special you can see that, they can't, that's a bit of a superpower. Identifying toxic traits isn't as visible as people think. Well done for spotting that! I was in my 30's before I started spotting the toxic in others. I once heard a saying, if it were easy, it wouldn't be worth doing. Things that have great meaning in life, have genuine emotions attached to chasing their achievement. And then when you achieve them you get to look back and be proud of how far you have come and what you have overcome in battling through that. You identified you would like to have your own place. What do the steps to get there look like? What are some skills you can polish that might be helpful along the way. I'm sorry your parents are toxic that's heavy, and hard to navigate. I hope you can find a place where you can engage good boundaries with them and still be able to get along, in the end.

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