ADHD symptoms are not "character flaws" and people experiencing it aren't victims. I'm also not sure why you would think that people don't try? Would you tell a depressed person they just need to try not being depressed? Maybe they need to try smiling more?

Not everyone's brain works exactly the same, and that's ok. Understanding how your brain works differently and utilizing strategies to lean into strengths and adapt to challenges DO empower people to impact their quality of life.

Lack of executive function isn't a character flaw.

There's a study out there that says most ADHD content online is BS. This would definitely qualify. Being a people pleaser is not related to ADHD in the slightest. However, I'd push back on saying you can overcome any personal flaw through one's own ability. Some people really just need medication to even start being capable of applying any tool they learn in therapy or otherwise.

For me at least, understanding has to come before healthy coping. I've also been alone and felt like an outsider all my life, now in middle age I can finally see experiences of people like me. It's comforting.

im not a helpless victim

okay but i am

Remember the 60 times a day Karen.