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I protect my nonexistent kids from harm. (files.catbox.moe)
submitted 3 days ago by to c/childfree@lemmy.world
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[–] 2 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I’d be a terrible father because I’ve gone through far too much to ever consider [it]

Yeah I think this is the part I struggle to understand. I don't want kids because I simply don't want kids, regardless of my own childhood. To me, this smells like "I would if I could". I get the part of it that is like a genetic disease that you don't want to pass on. But would you consider it, if you knew you would be a good father?

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  • [–] [S] 0 points 2 days ago (1 child)

    To me, this smells like "I would if I could".

    What I said (and what the original poet is saying) is "I won't, and I can't anyway". That's not the same thing as "I would if I could".

    But would you consider it, if you knew you would be a good father?

    Fuck no, I don't even like kids.

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  • [–] 0 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

    No. What the original poet is saying is "I dream of children but I won't get them because I'm afraid". Sure, you can interpret "I'm afraid" as "I can't", but then the reason you can't is treatable.

    Fuck no, I don't even like kids.

    Then why in the world did you not open with this statement?

    Take this for instance:

    1. "I can't have kids because I'm sterile"
    2. "I don't want kids so I got sterilised"

    Same person, same reasons, just different framing. 1. will prompt people to go "Oh, there is help for that you know, you could use a sperm donor or something". 2. will not.

    Edit to add: A lot of the comments contain type 1 statements. Like the first one in this thread for instance:

    A lot of people are childfree because they have severe generational trauma that they’re afraid they’ll inflict on their potential kids and therefore be terrible parents.

    This conveys loss and suffering. A type 2 framing would be:

    A lot of people have suffered generational trauma but do not mind not being able to have kids, instead they find solace in breaking the trauma circle.

    You see the difference in agency here, right?

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