Colorado Representative Lauren Boebert’s campaign said that it was “investigating some very unusual voting patterns,” as the MAGA congresswoman was on the brink of losing her reelection bid.

As Democrat Eileen Laubacher’s lead over Boebert grew slightly Thursday in the race to represent Colorado’s 4th District, Boebert’s campaign released a statement suggesting foul play. Scott Gessler, the attorney for the campaign, claimed that the votes had been “trending” in Boebert’s favor since election night, “consistently lowering the margin under one percentage point.”

“We are investigating some very unusual voting patterns and expect this election to head to a recount, one way or another,” Gessler continued.

As of Friday morning, Laubacher was still leading Boebert 48.75 percent to 47.94 percent, with 97 percent reporting. The two candidates had a margin of 3,069 votes, more than three times the automatic recount threshold of 921 votes. Boebert’s campaign could still choose to pay for a recount.

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[–] 141 points 18 hours ago (31 children)

Try not to jerk anyone off in the parking lot on your way out.

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  • [–] 15 points 17 hours ago (21 children)
  • [–] 14 points 17 hours ago (7 children)
  • [–] 17 points 17 hours ago (4 children)
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  • [–] 11 points 17 hours ago (12 children)
  • [–] 12 points 17 hours ago (11 children)

    That makes sense, the uncut are easier to jerk off.

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  • [–] 10 points 16 hours ago (10 children)
  • [–] 13 points 16 hours ago (4 children)

    Yeah. There's more physical sensation and lube is less required.

    And the skin heals faster than whatever tissue makes up the head.

    Bit more work to keep clean, but I highly recommend being uncut.

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  • [–] 10 points 16 hours ago (3 children)
  • [–] 3 points 13 hours ago (1 child)

    Have you ever seen those water-wiggler/infinite tube things people used to give out as party favors way back in the before-times? It kind of works like having a built-in one of those at all times. That's why they started to encourage people to cut them off in the 1800s. People kind of forget that the whole reason Christians started doing it was prudes getting up in their feelings about men having a good wank and the corpos liking the idea of not being able to jack it without having to pay for some Vaseline or a bottle of Jergens.

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  • [–] 3 points 16 hours ago (2 children)

    The real reason for the prevalence of circumcision was to discourage "self-abuse".

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  • [–] 3 points 14 hours ago

    I think it reduced infection and such legitimately, in men. So called female circumcision, aka female genital mutilation, is done to prevent sexual escapades by woman, as I understand it.

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  • [–] 7 points 14 hours ago (4 children)

    Y'know, I'm sympathetic to her on this one. I keep trying, but it's like two or three dudes every time I leave a store. It takes forever to get to my car! Well, I mean, like two extra minutes. But y'know, that's valuable time!

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  • [–] 4 points 12 hours ago (1 child)

    I'm rwminded of the Silicon Valley middle-out discussion about the most efficient method to perk off as ,any dudes as possible. Didn't that inspire an actual breakthrough in compression algorithms?

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