I have a girlfriend. She’s sweet, but she ALWAYS talks over me when i’m upset to change the subject or to tell me to look at a cat video or Bluey or Hazbin Hotel funny clips.

i feel so bad for saying this, but when i tried to tell her i was struggling with depression, it took like 3 tries to get her to listen, and all she said was to just be happy and smile.

today, i tried to tell her one of my grandpas died recently and she just talked over me about funny videos and tiktok. even if i tell her to listen, she does‘t or starts getting sad, so even when she says i can tell her anything, i don’t often. Am i in the wrong for that?

Also, she sends laughing emojis when I tell her something like “I have a PTSD diagnosis” on the topic of mental health, and she constantly puts herself down and asks me to give her reasons why she’s a good girlfriend and not “stupid and ugly”.

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[–] 21 points 1 day ago (2 children)

It sounds like the two of you have different coping strategies for trauma and that those two coping strategies are incompatible. You can't make her do anything. Either she can be there for you the way you need her to, or she can't.

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  • [–] [S] 5 points 1 day ago (1 child)
  • [–] 8 points 1 day ago

    I would add some depth to this take. How long have you known each others? It might be that she is trying to lighten the mood and, in a misplaced effort to make you happy, strikes the wrong note. This is a crappy excuse an only works if you have been dating very shortly (a couple of months max) and only if, when pointed out, she makes obvious attempts at redirecting. I would not go as far as couples counseling, not worth it if she can’t see the problem and fix it herself.

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