Sigh. I don't know where to start or what do I need to ask here even at all.

So, I have joined a new workplace and I just don't know how to interact with people. Most of the time I don't feel the energy to interact. But being shutdown feels not very socially acceptable behavior nor I feel it would do any good to me.

First two weeks, I didn't talk with anyone at all. Only one or two interactions here and there that's about it. After I did manage to get into small group of employees who've joined recently and they allowed me to join their social circle.

At this point, I thought I was gonna be okay and will improve at socialising. But even after a month, I still feel this feeling of being subhuman level at socialising. I feel so different, I feel so not normal. I feel everyone are just better at socialising. They got this nailed down somewhere down their lives but somehow I just missed it.

I just don't know what to do. I don't have confidence in my voice either so most of the time I try to end conversations with few words. Idk anything really.

Edit: Wow, I didn't expect this much reception to this post especially since it was very messy how I explained my problem. But you guys surprised me, haha. Thank you all for your advice. I'm reading every one of your replies! I love this community.

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[–] 1 point 1 week ago

I've been in your shoes before. Been there for a long time, years. This is not about knowing how to ask questions. It's about anxiety and self image.

Maybe you're seeing yourself as the new guy or as the introvert, the weirdo, the different. Try to not fixate on it.

I have two tips:

1- Accept that you have a personality, some will like it, some won't. Instead of asking or faking interest, look for the people you find genuinely interesting and share your stuff with them. Small stuff, don't need to overshare or be egocentric. "Today I saw something on youtube, ..." "I don't drink coffee because one time I..." "This new project seems interesting, I wonder if...". That's how the conversation picks up and you develop a connection.

2- There is a hyper-extrovert in the group. Just avoid him. It's impossible to be around these people, they get frustrated when someone is not engaged in the conversation enough and they'll start to be mean.

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