It's not, there's a website called fetlife where you can check the events tab and you'll see a bunch of stuff and even filter it to your area. You'll likely find play parties (basically an open to the public event where people can do bdsm), munches (bunch of kinky people grab dinner, usually considered the best place to start), bar meetups, etc. I used to run a monthly event myself and I met my wife at a dungeon.

Assuming you aren't rural or in a small town in the middle of nowhere (country dependent) you likely have at least one localish bar that the kink community knows is a good place to meet up, if not even an outright leather bar.