violent revolutions always tend to backfire

That's completely ahistorical. Violent revolution in China doubled life expectancy within a generation; violent revolution in Russia led to industrialization and the transformation of a fuedal backwater into a global superpower capable of stopping the Nazis; violent revolution in Vietnam led to the expulsion of violent exploitative colonial rule and establishing autonomy to this day, as well as allowing them to stop the Cambodian genocide; violent revolution in Cuba expelled the oppressive gangster state and led to Cuba having one of the highest numbers of doctors per capita in the world, which have been sent around the world to assist in humanitarian crises.

The claim that violent revolutions "always backfire" is just propaganda you were told to encourage complacency. The negative aspects of revolutionary countries are always highlighted and pushed to the forefront, while any positive accomplishments are ignored or written off.

What’s the third option?

Rather than looking at it in terms of just going out and trying to overthrow the government, look at it this way. The system is failing, and if it cannot correct itself with significant changes, then it will collapse. And currently, the right is better prepared for that collapse and more likely to take advantage of it. That's a part of why they can be so obstructionist and not care if the system actually functions. What we need is to become better prepared, so that if an when shit hits the fan, we at least have a fighting chance. And in the meantime, if there's any way to actually make the system work, then it's through giving the powers that be something to be afraid of.

What we can do currently is to participate in other non-electoral tactics, such as strikes and demonstrations, while making preparations and building dual power structures. Again, rather than thinking in terms of, "How do we overthrow the government," think in terms of, "If there's a breakdown in order, and a fascist militia shows up to my community, what can we do about it?"

Currently, for example, there are masked fascist thugs raiding workplaces and dragging people away, claiming to be government agents, and we may not currently have the capacity to fight them and win, but what we can do is track their movements and give people early warnings to get to safety, and we can pressure workplaces to refuse to open their doors to them, and we can do whatever we can to make their jobs harder and make their lives hell while preparing for the day that we can kick them off our streets.