I recently went camping at a provincial park. About 4 am in the morning, I heard something walking through the bush. Realized it was a raccoon. When I got up to go to washroom, I turned on my head lamp which caused the raccoon to walk away. That raccoon was a chonkers.

When I got back from the washroom, I caught the same raccoon standing over a bunch of juice boxes. Got into a staring contest with the raccoon with me thinking "Seriously? We're doing this right now?" The raccoon that waddled away/ If that raccoon could talk, I am pretty sure it would try to gas light me.

I always thought reincarnating as a well loved house cat would be awesome. Now, I am thinking coming back as a provincial park raccoon wouldn't be so bad.

They like Wayne Brady, they'll cut a bitch