It's worth noting that clinicians and the DSM-5 agree with your perspective. Dysphoria is distress related to an incongruity between sex and assigned gender; the incongruity can exist without causing dysphoria.

You don't get diagnosed as trans, you get diagnosed as dysphoric.

Anyone who thinks dysphoria is a prerequisite for being trans is just simply wrong. There's no point in seeking out their opinions in much the same way that there's no point in seeking out the opinions of people who believe the moonlanding is fake. If you're looking for rationality that you think you've overlooked, you won't find it.