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What aspects of your childhood as embodied by your parents' choices, behaviors, and values did you find painful and later reject in your adult life? How did you implement your rejection of their stuff (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 month ago by to c/nostupidquestions@lemmy.ca
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Also, what behavior/value etc almost stuck (that you were on a dangerous trajectory to perpetuating) but that you were able to develop the healthier antithetical to whether consciously or unconsciously

Personally, one thing I've noticed from childhood and work is that I cant tolerate people forcing me to respond or act while theres an expectation of time pressure or immediate perfect response.

I now generally enforce that I have time to make space and choose how to respond to thingsand thats actually much better for everyone involved even if the person or group doesnt end up getting what they want because at least there will be a more socially acceptable rejection of what I have determined to be something I need to say no to. A cornered wasp is a dangerous thing and I have rejected the necessity for that to ever be the case, no question or request is so important that I need to foreclose thinking and working my way to a coherent decision that responds appropriately to the originating stimulis

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[โ€“] [S] 1 point 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Adding that to my list. No screamers or yellers. People can be worked up or upset without trying to establish volume-superiority over you or causing you audible discomfort to match theirs

Nobody yells or screams at me, I will leave/hangup/disconnect + block them thus removing their voluntary abillity to exert that over me

The louder they speak, the less they are and will be heard by me in both present and future

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