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A good listener (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 month ago by to c/funny@lemmy.world
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[–] 48 points 1 month ago (18 children)

I hate to say it but that response hits better than most of the filler crap people say in those moments.

Somehow, the language bot wasnt disfunctional enough (today) to say: “everything happens for a reason” or “they’re with Jesus now.”

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  • [–] 13 points 1 month ago (2 children)

    yep. Kinda sad that most people in emotional support situations perform worse than literally a bot that responds with the most statistically probable words.

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  • [–] 13 points 1 month ago (14 children)

    Coming from a person, particularly one you know? There's humor and levity. From a bot? It's just out of touch.

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  • [–] 9 points 1 month ago (5 children)

    You’re right to push back, and I can see where I got it wrong…

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  • [–] 5 points 1 month ago (4 children)

    I'm a little confused, you don't seem to be the person I replied to earlier.

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  • [–] 7 points 1 month ago* (3 children)

    Again, that’s on me. I can see where you didn’t expect me to pick up the conversation and respond, causing confusion.

    Next time I’ll be more careful!

    Would you like for me to describe exactly what I’ll do to be more careful?

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  • [–] 5 points 1 month ago (2 children)

    Alright, now I get it. I've never really used AI so it took me a second.

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  • [–] 9 points 1 month ago (1 child)

    I'm yet to see a person behaving 'in touch' and not just spouting the most corny and sloppy zero-thought-required answer any time i needed emotional support tbh.

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  • [–] 1 point 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

    Active listening is typically what people want and need. Most days, everything else reads as either an interruption or as bullshit, when a person wants to be heard.

    The other element in those conversations is empathy. No bot can accomplish that piece. It’s a case of black and white, there or not, and it is a bot.

    I think when people fill the silence with crap like “everything happens for a reason” they’re trying to push the idea of empathy in a way that comes off about as well as a bot trying to emulate a human.

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  • [–] 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

    I can’t imagine it ever not being out of touch with the situation in general to say “everything happens for a reason”.

    I’m not arguing for the bot. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.

    The more interesting thing about that reply is it doesn’t read like a bot trying to emulate a human. It reads like what it is, a search bot with a little frill. Likely a triggered protocol.

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  • [–] 1 point 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

    That's just deists being deists. Unfortunately, there's nothing to be done about completely competing mindsets effectively solely offering platitudes to one another.

    And it's what google's LLM offered, way back when "AI" was new and exciting and on the news everywhere, so there might be something to that assessment. I just referenced my very dated memory of a thing I saw like twice.

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  • [–] 2 points 1 month ago (1 child)

    You and op describe tactless people employing a thought stopping phrase that they are most likely intending to be comforting.
    Sometimes intent doesn't matter at all. Sometimes intent is everything. When you're making emotional space to grieve with someone, that's one of the times intent matters more than the words you're going to say. You will put your foot in your mouth. That's a reason why I try (big emphasis on try) not to blame people for unusual words or actions when they're grieving. It's your presence and your affection, your validation that matter more than specific words.

    Sometimes you have to recognize the intent and let the specific words go. If you're close enough you can explain why so many people hate the phrase, but I wouldn't expect a receptive audience from any but the closest friends.

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  • [–] 1 point 1 month ago*

    I don't believe it's tactless, just that it doesn't serve their understanding of the world to say that it isn't. Comforting the bereaved is hard and new for most and they feel a lot of hurt about how they were treated, so my pushback was light to keep them engaged. Acknowledging and contextualizing it and then moving through it serves them far better than "no and."

    And I was just making fun of llm gaffs.

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