I have pretty mixed feelings about it. I have a lot of dysphoria using the bathroom because my penis has gotten so small from HRT I can't just sit down and pee, I have to physically manipulate it to not make a mess. It's a constant reminder of how different I am from other women and it's very invalidating. On the other hand that's kind of a perk too because I haven't needed to tuck in several years.

But at the same time, it's unlikely I'll ever have health insurance again because I decided to abandon my career for unrelated reasons so footing the $50k-$100k bill is out of the question. There is also the fact that I am grey ace and don't have much interest in most kinds of sex so having one genital configuration or another doesn't matter all that much. Though I do wonder how much of that is related to the dysphoria because vaginal sex is still appealing if the vagina was mine. I've also kind of come to the decision not to pursue romantic or sexual relationships anymore because of my body, but also a lot of unrelated mental health stuff so probably the only thing that will interact with my genitals in the future is my magic wand, Keanu.

I've also heard there are some serious, potentially life threatening complications that can come from bottom surgery and that dilating a neo-vagina after surgery can be extraordinarily painful and take months to finish.