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[–] 23 points 2 months ago (7 children)

"No, I paid a prostitute to pee in a bottle. I mean, yeah, I'm weird."

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  • [–] 18 points 2 months ago (4 children)

    Well Mr. MacGyver, the good news is you are drug free. The bad news is you are pregnant and have herpes and syphillis.

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  • [–] 13 points 2 months ago (3 children)

    That's OK, I don't believe in syphilis!

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  • [–] 2 points 2 months ago (1 child)

    You do need pee from the same sex as you they can tell easily.

    Heat it up, wear whitey tidey underwear, (which I hate,) and snug the pee on your taint.

    Last time I did that, the test people said it was a little hotter than it should be, I said it's hot out and I walked here.

    Best though, if you quit for several days first, drink lots and lots of water to dilute your piss, then take a few vitamins to add colour to your pee. It works.

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