Explains why the one time I’ve seen nostr come through it was some weird ass spam

That also means there’s very little in the way of moderation.

I think this is more down to the mindset of the community of people who use it, than it is the fault of the technical design, which does go beyond just relying on private keys for identity, and could absolutely work out systems for effective moderation. But the Nostr community is mainly Bitcoin maxi libertarians, so maybe they just won't.