On clothing I think it was likewise for me. I liked skirts a bit because they made me look more fem, but also felt I couldn't look fem while wearing jeans. That was until my therapist told me, but look at other gals. Do they also wear skirts all day? And that made me realise I didn't need to be bound by skirt or jean to be a gal. The fashion thing withheld me from social transition a bit. Now that I look more fem, it's less of an issue.

Though I also know people who straight up just dress gallish while being cis guys - a bi friend for example wears a corsette, like femboys might do. And another always wore very guyish clothes, looking 'rougher'. And someone else just didn't give a fuck and put up whatever mix they did today lol. So I feel it depends on what your goals are.

Gender isn't a fixed thing - it can vary by person and for some it also can vary over timespans. I'm very much a transfem gal, but I dress more neutral-ish and might describe myself as a demigirl in that regard.

The autogynephilia... for me that was a big block in determining whether I was trans or not. I'm sapphic, lesbian; but do I like gals because I fall for them or because I want to be them? I feel that it's both, and yeah. I don't care what transphobes think, as they care mostly about controlling others. The only time I care is when I manage to change their mind ever so slightly.