I can get that way too, but what I've done to cope is to recognize that my situation is vastly improved, and that's good enough - transition doesn't have to make me happy all the time, it's enough that it makes me happy so much of the time. The same strategy was really important when deciding to get a vaginoplasty, and when choosing my name - because I had a lot of perfectionism and anxiety around both, and I had to realize that it's about being practical and not about finding perfection.

Even just getting estrogen in me really changed my mental health for the better, even if that's all I ever did, it would have been worth it.