I had a buddy who got a Doctor's note that let him pee and poop in the nurse's office.

Damn, that sucks. You ever pee outdoors? Is that better

Now I need an extra panel with him sliding under the stall like a mechanic under a car.

That guy is way too interested in other people's evacuations.

It's almost like humans have a biological expectation of privacy when peeing that modern American construction fails to meet.

You mean you don't vigorously shake piss droplets all over the place?