That was a delightful read. I somehow forgot you had to download every program yourself and update it yourself or put up with a third party update app at all times. I've only been away from Windows for like a year but it's like "I completely forgot about that".
Tldr for you guys, tons of issues with installing and basic functionality but he did say Edge was fine and so was Outlook after paying the ransom subscription and neglecting privacy concerns. Ads though? Yikes. Also they finally got an emoji/character picker, which was news to me. But yeah, massive corporate dumpster fire otherwise.