Hi all, as above i am looking for some personal blogs. I don't really like social media FB/Insta/TikTok etc so I am not looking for direction to them. Maybe YT is its exceptional and non advertisy.

I am just looking for individuals journals, and or genuine reviews of products and approaches. The internet is drowning in affiliate and compilation pages when I just want to have a look around at how other tackled it, and some reasonable priced products.

Happy for your stories too.

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[+] 18 points 4 months ago (15 children)
  • [–] [S] 10 points 4 months ago (14 children)
  • [+] 19 points 4 months ago (13 children)
  • [–] 3 points 4 months ago* (11 children)

    Rainbow Mafia? Please see rules 1 and 3. But seems out of place in any safe space for repressed peoples to use a hate-speech term to attack any repressed group IMHO.

    Please don't use that term unless you truly believe there are only 2 genders and only validly defined by a doctor looking at a baby's crotch at birth and only active heterosexuality is valid. All other terms including gay, lesbian, bi, etc., are "rainbow mafia" terms.

    If curious, there is a gray, or gray-ace usually, and it is an umbrella term sometimes used in asexual communities that describes several different orientations that are not 100% asexual, but don't conform to sexual attraction "norms", such as demisexual, those who find sexual attraction from emotional connection rather than physical attraction. And cis-women make up a not insignificant portion of that community, so there are likely some here. I have some of those traits since physical attraction isn't as important to me, but more identify as lesbian, personally.

    All LGBTQ+ terms are each describing thousands of living people's experiences. They aren't frivolous.

    Sorry for the rant, but with so many governments attacking LGBTQ+ people and the US (where I live) at high risk of losing even legal gay marriage soon, it's not a time to accept hate in any form.

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  • [+] 12 points 4 months ago (8 children)
  • [–] 2 points 4 months ago* (7 children)

    Saying LGBTQ+ terms are from the "rainbow mafia" is what is hate speech. That implies they are made up and the slippery slope fallacy that allowing any LGBTQ+ terms at all aren't "normal" will lead to people eventually identifying as an attack helicopter. It's never a joke to say a person's identity is invalid because it's made up by the "rainbow mafia". It's not a joke to say someone doesn't exist. Are you gray/gray-ace, if not then you can't "joke" about them not existing.

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  • [+] 8 points 4 months ago (7 children)
  • [–] 2 points 4 months ago (6 children)

    You're not listening to what I'm saying. You used a hate term. Using the term "rainbow mafia" to describe some imaginary group of people who make up terms to "feel special" is detracting from all LGBTQ+ terms.

    Secondly, you can only claim "it was a joke" for something that denies someone's existence or right to exist as a human if you are in that group. Then and only then can you make a joke of that nature. You stated you thought gray was a term invented by the rainbow Mafia. This implies you believe a "rainbow mafia" exists. Since the term "rainbow mafia" when speaking of LGBTQ+ labels is a talking point for hate speech against LGBTQ+ people in those groups by stating explicitly that they do not exist and are only the figment of the "rainbow mafia's" imagination. This argent is also being used even as far as denying the existence of gay, lesbian, bisexual, or any of the terms. If you believe this and you specifically stated that gray sounded like a term LGBTQ+ people are accused of creating frivolously, you can not claim "joking".

    This is like a white person saying that black people are inhuman and violent and should be put down. It doesn't matter if they then say "it was a joke". It is hate speech regardless of whether you were serious. You can't use that excuse just because you're human and say oh when I can't say humans are all violent animals. That's not at all what was said first.

    You're creating straw men to defend your hate speech. Either apologize if you didn't understand what you were saying or what "rainbow mafia" truly implies when talking about well established LGBTQ+ classifications. Everyone needs education, there's no shame in admitting to a mistake. Otherwise I would ask that you kindly leave the community.

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  • [+] 6 points 4 months ago (6 children)
  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (5 children)

    You can't reclaim a word that you didn't seem to know existed as an LGBTQ+ term and made fun of the fact that someone might have been talking about being it by mockingly saying they found it by fr the "rainbow cabal" while "watching a documentary about John Mayer".

    The way you reclaim a term is by first and foremost being that thing (if you aren't grey or know someone close to you who is, which I do, you can't reclaim it or joke about it's existence and retroactively pretend that's what you were doing), and then you use the term to describe yourself and the people you know in not an offensive manner, but by using it descriptively. "Gay" was reclaimed by gay people and their close friends and family calling them that without the offensive undertones. Not with the offensive undertones and then saying "oh I was joking and reclaiming the term". That just gives the offensive part more exposure. You have to make it so people don't even remember that offensive part anymore.

    I really hope you're a bot or far-right troll and not this unaware. But either way there's not much I can do to make you understand and stop defending an obviously offensive post, even if you didn't intend it that way. There's no defense for continuing to attack me for pointing out your mistake if that's what it was. This entire chain is full of just about every logical fallacy of debate imaginable when there should be no debate on whether it's hate speech to make fun of a group of people for a term they use to describe themselves.

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  • [–] 5 points 4 months ago (4 children)

    This has really crossed the line here. Shark is a respected member of this community. They are not making fun of the LGBT+ community.

    “Rainbow mafia” or “alphabet mafia” has absolutely been reclaimed by parts of the LGBT+ community.

    You are being incredibly aggressive toward allies here.

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  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago

    Unfortunately, the way it was used was to make fun of the fact that "gray" might be an LGBTQ+ term, which it is, I fall slightly under it's umbrella and my girlfriend falla significantly under it. If this community is not welcoming of LGBTQ+ women like my partner and I then I will leave, but attacking me for trying to explain that it was offensive to my partner to have a term she uses being called out as part of the "rainbow mafia" in a way that was not "reclaiming" since it was degrading to the term, and then to have it turned around that I was the one taking agency from LGBTQ+ people and that they were "just joking" is extremely offensive to all LGBTQ+ people. Since this is not a welcoming community to those in my community my partner and I will walk away, but I think it's pretty sad when a community meant to be a safe space becomes a safe space for attacks on a community that is currently under siege.

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  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago (2 children)

    People are allowed to reclaim harmful terms, and people are also allowed to not feel comfortable with that. For a lot of people, terms like that have been traumatizing, and I'm just seeing two people processing that here in different ways.

    I think the reclaimers and the term-avoiders need to find a way to coexist, but I don't think Sharkweek or Jul are doing anything wrong in feeling the way that they do.

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  • [–] 2 points 4 months ago* (1 child)

    They crossed a line accusing Shark of using hateful rhetoric on purpose to attack them and asking if they’re a far-right troll.

    We can respectfully disagree without going that far.

    It’s clear to me that neither person here meant harm, so it is equally unfair to start hurling harmful accusations.

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  • [–] 2 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

    Yeah, that's true. Feelings got hurt and lines got crossed. Unfortunate situation.

    I have two trans friends who use the T-slur a lot, and we had a respectful conversation, and now they don't use it as much around me. But I don't want them to stop using the term altogether or police it. They're not doing anything wrong for reclaiming it, but it just gives me flashbacks, you know? We all have different comfort zones, which are extra difficult to manage in a public space like this.

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  • [–] 3 points 4 months ago (2 children)

    Whoa, friend. I'm sure you mean well here, but there are a lot of queer folks who joke about being part of the "alphabet mafia" and such as a way to mock being called that by the right. Essentially, joking about how silly it is that they would label us with something that sounds so goofy.

    It seemed like a lighthearted comment to me, I don't know that it demanded this level of response. I hope you're doing ok in spite of the political climate.

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  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago (1 child)

    That's not the tone or implication of the comment. The comment was that gray "might be a new secret sect of the Rainbow Mafia" and mockingly that someone identifying as gray might have done so due to a "documentary about John Major [and] relaxed [they] just can't go on living in color".

    This tone and dismissiveness of LGBTQ+ identities while referring to a conspiracy theory used by anti-LGBTQ+ people specifically to do exactly the same thing, dismiss LGBTQ+ people is at best inconsiderate if not outright hate speech.

    And as I said, you can't just say "it was a joke" while blaming me for pointing it out, using straw man and other logical fallacy arguments to make me feel bad for explaining the identity they were dismissing and then defending my partner and grey-ace people in general, and refusing to even apologize or admit that it was inconsiderate at best. If that's what this community believes is allyship then no LGBTQ+ people belong here. My girlfriend, my few other of my other female identifying LGBTQ+ friends who were members, and I have already unsubscribed. I won't be replying further to the thread as it's simply too upsetting that a community for a repressed group would allow such behavior.

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  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago

    If the person you were responding to was speaking in good faith, then your response is so very overblown. Nobody was dismissive. It's so very common to reclaim terms that are used to harm us by jokingly using them self referentially - You seem to think that's an attack somehow. It's not.

    If they were acting in bad faith, I would agree with you. The person themselves, however, has said they are queer and were reclaiming a term through joking. Again, a very very common thing.

    I hope you manage to sort through whatever hurt is causing you to assume everyone behaves in bad faith. Sincerely. I'm sorry to see you go, but I hope stepping back helps you breathe a bit and find somewhere you can be comfortable.

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