Rubbing your eyes a bit can make you feel a bit less tired, so obviously using a machine to rub your eyes a lot will make you feel a lot less tired. Brought to you by the school of I felt happier after two beers, so clearly I will feel ten times happier still if I drink twenty more beers.

You know when you are so tired you can't think straight? I guess you'd need to be this foggy to even entertain this as being an actual idea.

“Getting repeatedly punched in the eye sockets by a high-powered handheld device is a bad idea” should be the default, but here we are.

I’m not even sure how it sounds appealing to be honest.

It worked when I repeatedly smashed my balls.

Seemed like a reasonable next place to go.

Because of balls. Eyeballs.

I bet it actually works, in the sense that injury can produce an adrenaline response.