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[–] 39 points 5 months ago (13 children)

Sex is one of those activities that should be done solely because all of the people involved want to have sex.

Husbands shouldn’t be rewarded with sex. Sex isn’t something wives give out.

I do hope you have been having fun as a newly married woman and I hope the sex has been good for you!

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  • [–] 21 points 5 months ago (1 child)

    100 percent

    Once sex becomes a 'reward' or a 'prize' for doing things, it becomes less about passion and fun, and a lot more transactional

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  • [–] 11 points 5 months ago (7 children)

    I still don't know how these relationships end up turning like this. I'd be running out the door the first time affection gets locked behind a microtransanction.

    PS.: autocomplete did a funny

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  • [–] 9 points 5 months ago (5 children)

    I still don't know how these relationships end up turning like this.

    The overwhelming message from society that women don't enjoy sex and it's only something that men want completely passed you by, hm?

    It goes hand in hand with women being taught that our role is to make men happy first and foremost before we ever think about pleasing ourselves.

    It turns sex into a tool of the oppressed against the oppressor which taints the beauty that is fully consensual sex.

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  • [–] 6 points 5 months ago (4 children)

    Maybe it did pass me by lol. I grew up a father orphan and my mother once I turned old enough to discuss it made no expense in telling me how much she loved my father.

    I did have a partner that didn't know how to masturbate but she thoroughly enjoyed our scenes.

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  • [–] 10 points 5 months ago (3 children)

    Yeah women resort to offering sex to their partners as rewards or to persuade them to be better partners because it's often one of the only leverages we have inside of marriage. It's unhealthy and it's getting better with stronger women's rights, but it makes sense how it happens within the framework of our society.

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  • [–] 3 points 5 months ago (2 children)

    Yeah, this is a dynamic that I don't think has happened on my relationships. i've done changes to accommodate my exes but i've never felt sex was used as leverage.

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  • [–] 5 points 5 months ago (1 child)

    When I was much younger, I definitely would give in to other's wants more easily than I do now and, looking back, I'm aware it was an effort to appease them more than making myself happy. They didn't do anything wrong and neither did I, but if I could go back in time and say "No" instead, I would.

    Relationships live in a lot of grey areas. That's great that your relationships have been on equal footing in this regard :)

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