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When Jewish Christ followers met Gentile "Christians" things got awkward Classical Antiquity (~100 BCE) (media.piefed.social)
submitted 5 months ago by to c/historymemes@piefed.social
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[–] [S] 22 points 5 months ago (10 children)

Favorite example of OT God being a wrathful bitch go!

Mines the bears that kill the kids.

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  • [–] 14 points 5 months ago (3 children)

    quantity over quantity: destroying the entire world and every living thing except one dinky boat because some angels raped human women.

    Quality over quantity?

    when god cursed the serpent for telling the truth. (adam and eve didn't die... and the issue really was that god didn't want them to be "like him." Also if the story is to believed, god set them up anyway.)

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  • [–] [S] 5 points 5 months ago (2 children)

    There's some really funny coping about Adam and Eves death.

    I've read one claim that, to god, a day is actually a thousand years. So god saying they will die a day later is true because Adam lived to 999 and 364 days or something.

    Eventually, god figures out time, but before that he struggles and that's why oldtest figures are hundreds of years old.

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  • [–] 7 points 5 months ago (1 child)

    It’s always weird how for these copes to be true, god has to not understand the thing he made.

    Another pretty damning example of that? God didn’t understand female anatomy.

    Specifically that 60% of women do not bleed the first they have sex. Yet one of his laws say that women who say they are virgins on their wedding night and do not bleed… are to be stoned.

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  • [–] 12 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (4 children)

    Even hippy Jesus is sort of a dick though.

    For example when he's walking along and sees a fig tree. He's hungry so asks his disciples to bring him some dates figs (lazy fuck, go get your own damn dates figs). They report that the tree doesn't have any dates figs, so Jesus uses his necromancy to make it wither and die.

    EVERYTHING THAT IS NOT PRODUCTIVE WILL BE PURGED FROM THE FACE OF THE EARTH. GOD IS LOVE.

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  • [–] 4 points 5 months ago (1 child)

    Sounds like he would have been disappointed even if the tree did have fruit on it, because dates grow on date palms, not on fig trees...

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