I know that I need to get better, but I’m so familiar with these feelings that I don’t want to. It’s what I know.

Yeah that is the toughest part. No-one can do it for you, unfortunately. If you can, you can try professional help. But it is you that needs to take the first step. And that is very hard, so wishing you luck is the best I can do.

I think I will swear off of men again.

It's good taking your time there as well. You need to be in the business of learning to love yourself first. You cannot find stability with another if you haven't found it in yourself.

Thank you for taking the time to type out such a thoughtful reply. You give me hope that there are others out there that have such sincerity and empathy.

If you've lived through it you know how much a little can help a lot. And that helping others is one of the most fundamental things we can do as human beings. I hope that -in due time, after finding your ground- you will be in a position to do so for others!