Prior to my advice below I'd recommend discussing this with a professional first based on some of your post history.

Once you get to a point where you are open to looking toward the future you could look into a ranger job in a national park/firewatch. It sounds pretty close to what you're looking for being out in nature, disconnected from modern society, and sort of a frontier for you to conquer. However as it's very isolated you really should get to a good place mentally first.