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when my ex's dad told him this, this is unironically what i thought about (lemmy.world)
submitted 6 months ago by to c/lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world
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[–] 79 points 6 months ago (16 children)

I have congratulated quite a few friends like that, without knowing there's a deeper meaning to it.

Like what else am i supposed to say when a friend finally gets a GF?

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  • [–] 27 points 6 months ago (2 children)

    My autistic ass has observed that you're supposed to go "Hell yeah brotha" and fist bump them.

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  • [–] 2 points 6 months ago (1 child)

    The "Hell yeah" is a good one, but that actually raises a question. I used the same observational method to reach to my congratulation statement. Which, in the light of this new information, makes me wonder. Do most people around me want to fuck their friends partners?

    Though more likely just a cultural difference. I doubt that most people would want to fuck their friends partners.

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  • [–] 3 points 6 months ago

    There's several women in my friend group that I think are hot. I don't want to fuck any of them for various reasons. Being married to or dating one of my other friends is high among those reasons.

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  • [–] 46 points 6 months ago (1 child)

    without knowing there’s a deeper meaning to it.

    Honestly I dunno if that's necessarily the "actual" meaning behind it. (not that it can't be the way someone technically means it, though)

    You can genuinely just be saying "you're lucky to be together with someone you love", without also saying "I find that person you're with attractive and want to have sex with them"

    what else am i supposed to say when a friend finally gets a GF?

    "Congrats, happy for you!" "You two look cute together!" "I'm glad you two hit it off!"

    Don't sweat it. Most people are fine with just a simple congratulatory statement. Doesn't have to have any deep meaning or anything, but hey, "you're a lucky man" doesn't have to have a deeper meaning either.

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  • [–] 10 points 6 months ago (4 children)

    "Nice to meet you"?

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  • [–] 4 points 6 months ago (3 children)

    Wouldn't that be more for just meeting a new person? Kinda lacking the congratulating the friend part?

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  • [–] 2 points 6 months ago (2 children)

    Congratulations are not mandatory, I find it a bit wierd from the woman's position. Just showing interest in her directly and talking to her, not about her, feels much better.

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  • [–] 2 points 6 months ago

    Yeah, this is highly context dependent. If a guy meets a new couple, they chat for half an hour, and then half the couple excuses themselves for five minutes - in that case it’s perfectly normal to take the opportunity to say “hey, you’re pretty lucky.”

    But if you meet the couple and immediately congratulate one half of it like the other isn’t there, I’d see that as insulting. Not because I think you want to bang them, but because you aren’t even treating them like a human.

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  • [–] 7 points 6 months ago

    You can continue congratulating friends like this.

    The implied meaning is that he is lucky because she is attractive.

    Attractive women get more interest from more guys, so any individual faces more competition. So what you are really saying is "good work on making yourself attractive and putting yourself out there."

    But as you are complimenting your friend, you are also subtly complimenting his new girlfriend. Protip: people like being told they are attractive. And anyone with half a brain knows that people find other people attractive regardless of relationship status.

    So yeah, there's a subtext. It's a compliment for both people. People like compliments. The only people who wouldn't like a compliment like this are terminally online lemmings with insecurities about their attractiveness and weird sexual hangups.

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