submitted 6 months ago by to c/comicstrips@lemmy.world
❤️ 2 🙄 1
 

[a sign reads FEMINIST CONFERENCE next to a closed door, a blue character shrugs and says…]
I don't care

[next to the same door, the sign now says RESTRICTED FEMINIST CONFERENCE WOMEN ONLY, there are now four blue characters desperately banging on the door, one is reduced to tears on the floor, they are shouting]
DISCRIMINATION
SO UNFAIR!!!!
LET US IINN!!
MISANDRY

https://thebad.website/comic/until_it_affects_me

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[–] 31 points 6 months ago (15 children)

Yeah one time I accidentally commented in one of the women’s space community, as I thought it was only a meme aimed at women. The mod both recognized it was an honest mistake, and noted it actually added the conversation so they kept it up but said something along the lines of “thank you this is great but this is also a women’s only space, please don’t do it again” and they were very respectful about it. So I just lurked in that comments section as to respect the rules

Point is I too would probably be upset if my community was overran with “as a man”. What’s that one comic strip with the guy always going oh no, basically in the one I’m thinking of, they carve out their own niche, but then the majority comes in and kicks them out

Like is my heart in the right place, yes I think so, but would it lead to a situation like that, also yes

But I don’t see the point of people throwing a fit. Like go a general community like one of the Asks and throw it there. Like I fundamentally don’t understand people going “waaah I can’t be a part of something I didn’t want to be in”

It reminds me of one of my friends upset he wasn’t invited to one of our line gaming get together, despite the fact they hate the game

WHAT I MISSING I DONT GET IT

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  • [–] 20 points 6 months ago (3 children)

    I also commented there by accident once because I didn't read the community name. They politely asked me to refrain from doing so. I was embarrassed, and have been more careful.

    Apparently for some people this is unacceptable.

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  • [–] 9 points 6 months ago (2 children)

    The same for me. I later just blocked the community because I will definitely forget to check again and then comment and I don't want to be an annoyance.

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  • [–] 4 points 6 months ago (1 child)

    That's exactly how I got Perma banned from Reddit I didn't check the subs name before commenting with a different account. Oh well, the place is a shit hole anyway

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  • [–] 12 points 6 months ago

    It reminds me of one of my friends upset he wasn’t invited to one of our line gaming get together, despite the fact they hate the game

    it's not that they weren't playing the game, it's that they were excluded from the group. they would have liked the chance to say no, or just to hang out and keep y'all topped up with snacks or whatever i don't know the exact dynamics of the group. next time, even if they hate the game, invite them and give them a chance to say no. that's what they want and what does it cost? that way they don't feel excluded from the group. it's (probably) that simple

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  • [–] 5 points 6 months ago (3 children)

    The legit concern I've seen is that it doesn't fit in Lemmy's structure. You can't just exclude a demographic, right? But I respectfully disagree, as I believe the expectation is that the community is "read-only" to posters identifying as men, and posting is a perfectly enforceable thing on Lemmy.

    Other arguments are just baits for toxicity I'd rather not get into :(. But yeah, one factor is definitely like:

    It reminds me of one of my friends upset he wasn’t invited to one of our line gaming get together, despite the fact they hate the game

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  • [+] 3 points 6 months ago (3 children)
  • [–] 7 points 6 months ago (2 children)

    I think it’s fine that people accidentally comment and mods have to do the extra work, it allows the community to stay open for women to be able to find. That was how I found it.

    The easiest solution is, when a man gets told that it’s a space for women, he can just say “Oops, sorry about that” and move on, that is how most men respond when asked to not comment there. Its the men who have awful reactions and get argumentative that since a post came up in all, they should be allowed to join and comment whenever they want. Which is just silly.

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  • [+] 3 points 6 months ago (2 children)
  • [–] 6 points 6 months ago

    Accidental commenters get things explained nicely to them - have a look at any hot post on the comm. You'll see the copypaste response .

    How they respond to that public mod reply is on them.

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  • [–] 6 points 6 months ago

    Just walk away and don't be a jerk, it's not that hard jesus christ.

    You would be surprised how many individuals find this too difficult lol

    Yeah, I mean it would be nice for folks to read the rules, but as long as they don’t get nasty when being asked to not comment, it’s not an issue. From what I see hanging out there, it doesn’t seem to be a big deal most of the time. Mods just say their thing and the convo moves on. If the community were marked as private, many women, myself included, likely never would have found that space.

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  • [–] 12 points 6 months ago (2 children)

    When you're allowed everywhere by default , it can bruise something in your brain when you hit a closed door.

    Now couple that with generations of bullshit tropes about women-only spaces being either lesbian pillow fight fantasies or penis-slicing plotters and shit gets weird

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  • [–] 3 points 6 months ago (1 child)

    It doesn't feel good to feel excluded. Being told that you're not wanted in a space/event/group makes people have an immediate reaction. I will certainly let people have their spaces, I'm just offering why I think it happens. Like you saying about the friend that wasn't invited. The friend being upset wasn't upset because he wanted involved in that game. They were upset because they weren't invited. That can make you feel unimportant, overlooked, or forgotten about. In terms of friendship, it's better to make the offer and let the person make their own decision. Unless of course you have invited the person in the past and they like blew up at you for even asking about something you know they hate. In that case I'd say not inviting is best.

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