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Little secret you weren't taught: Parenting as a concept basically didn't exist before the 1970s. The overwhelming job that we call "parenting" used to be a community effort. (lemmy.today)
submitted 7 months ago by to c/parenting@lemmy.world
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[–] [S] -3 points 7 months ago (9 children)

I honestly don't believe that Dr. Spock would recognize today's parenting expectations as anything other than absurdity. Which it is.

No where did he say that children should not be allowed to go to a store by themselves, or that kids should be expected to have a minimum of 16 hours of college credits before they turn 18.

When he was writing, he would not have been able to imagine the way "parenting" would evolve by the end of the century.

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  • [–] 8 points 7 months ago (8 children)

    No where did he say that children should not be allowed to go to a store by themselves, or that kids should be expected to have a minimum of 16 hours of college credits before they turn 18.

    You...

    You think that started in the 70s?

    When he was writing, he would not have been able to imagine the way “parenting” would evolve by the end of the century.

    So...

    You also admit that the concept of parenting existed long before you said it did?

    Like, what you're saying is still wrong, but it's miles closer than your post. I'm not sure if we're making progress or moving goalposts, but I'm buckled in.

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  • [–] [S] 1 point 7 months ago (7 children)

    You think that started in the 70s?

    Yes. Definitely (though of course the actual specific time when such things started changes based on location, rural areas were slower than suburban).

    Consider this: How old were your kids when you allowed them to go to a store by themselves for the first time?

    How old were you when you were allowed to go to a store by yourself for the first time?

    Ask your grandma how old she was. (Call your grandma anyway, she would love to hear from you.)

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  • [–] 4 points 7 months ago* (6 children)

    The big change you'd see there is walkability...

    An 8 year old going to the bodego on their block alone happens everyday still.

    My mom grew up over 10 miles from the nearest neighbor with a single mom who didn't have a driver's license. How the fuck was she going to the store alone as a kid?

    Those are two insanely different scenarios to count as "going to the store alone".

    Like, you think you're being inclusive with "small towns" but you have no idea that actual rural has more people and is nowhere near the same.

    But the main difference is we went from a bunch of small stores around where people live, and to big box stores that you can only really visit via car, which obviously limits people under 16 from being independent.

    But going to a store alone is still such a small part of parenting, that this is all completely insignificant

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  • [–] 1 point 7 months ago

    That's a good point. A significant amount of the freedom that children are lacking comes from how many are run over and killed by cars every year or even the threat of it happening. It's a legitimate threat to be worried about if you live in suburbia.

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  • [–] [S] -1 points 7 months ago (4 children)

    Yes, the store thing was just an example. The point is that before the 1970-80s basically ALL kids were "free-range". In the 80s a PSA would come on tv that asked the parents if they knew where their kids were, and often than answer was 'no'. (That's literally the moment when parents started being shamed for not being helicopter parents.)

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  • [–] 3 points 7 months ago (3 children)

    If you're going to draw that line, draw it in the 20teens when parents started to get in legal trouble for their kids being unaccompanied.

    But again, even just the "free range" nature is a very very small aspect of parenting.

    Like, to compare to today's kids, being let lose on a small town as a preteen is nothing compared to unsupervised Internet access.

    In a lot of respects, kids have a shit ton more freedom/privacy than pre-internet kids.

    Hell, I remember having to take jr high dating calls from the kitchen phone in front of my whole family.

    You're thinking what was important to you as a kid, is important to kids today.

    Let them pick between a cell phone and closed bedroom door or a park with their friends but no phones...

    You might be surprised, most people won't.

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  • [–] [S] 0 points 7 months ago (2 children)

    We are probably going to disagree on cellphone access being better for the kids.

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  • [–] 2 points 7 months ago

    No we agree, you just don't understand.

    Unrestricted cell phone use is worse, so they have more freedom and are taking more risk than your grandparents.

    That's why they wouldn't trade in house privacy with a phone for a public environment with peers but no phones.

    It's not "good" that they have that freedom, but it's undeniably freedoom, and more than any prior generation has had

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