Of course you're a "bad child" with such a family. Don't be too hard on yourself :) no one would be problem-free in your situation. I would hate to be in such a situation.

Your situation sucks but it's not impossible to change. You need to somehow get away from this bad influence. I know that that's especially hard with your separation anxiety.

You just said your mom created who you are. That's definitely true in many ways. But you're your own person now, and you can make your own decisions. You don't have to be what your mom/family made you.

You don't necessarily need to immediately physically get away from them, but at least you have to limit their bad influence on you. If someone shouts at you, try to not take it personally, just think something like "well, there she goes again, she feels bad so she has to try to make me feel bad as well" or something like that. Because that's what's happening.

But it really seems to be like you need to physically get away as well. Idk, maybe just sit in a park or a cafe or really anywhere, somewhere where they can't find you. Short times at first maybe, but longer if possible.

What are you watching right now? :)

There you are. Sleep is the foundation of mental wellbeing. You can't manage a toxic environment if you're strung out.