The concept of Memories...

The concept of Forgetting...

The idea of existing as a child that has no responsibilities... The idea of Childhood... The idea of Nostalgia...

I have chemicals in my brain that preserved a different "now"...

I remember I used to be a little boy that was loved by parents...

aaahhh I wanna be a kid again.

I wanna be cuddle by mom and not have to worry about "responsibilities"... things like money or jobs

I remember when I was a kid, and I was often with my mom, and adults would be like "is this your son" to my mom and my heart would LIGHT UP for some reason when I get talked about positively (or even neutrally). Especially when its 1st Gen Chinese Diasporas and they're like "does he speak 中文 (Chinese)" (feels kinda gramatically incorrect btw 中文 is technically the written language) and I instantly feel so proud of my self for being multilingual (English, Cantonese, Mandarin)... I felt a sense of superiority compared to American-Born Chinese... mom was like "oh he does"... I can't express in words how good that felt when I get praised lol... they seems to be so surprised that I can speak Mandarin too and read

Just all the standard questiois like: "how old is is he?" makes me feel good... cuz it validated my existence... like another being other than my immediate family has recognized my existence. I EXIST. THEY'RE TALKING ABOUE ME UWU 🥹.

Like I overhear my mom's phone conversations a lot. I FEEL SOO GOOD WHEN THEY TALK ABOUT ME indirectly. Like the "my younger son is [age] years old" and I FEEL SO MUCH JOY hearing that...

just pure childhood

I obsess about memories a lot...

I sometimes fear I wake up one day without my memories... who the fuck would I even be anymore? I'd effectively "died".