They don't think anything is their fault.

In her mind her husband was probably awful and abusive for not bailing out her 1.5million in debt.

I've dated women like this. Had a few break ups where I was told how awful horrible man I was for not paying off her debts for her. The irony was I had no money... but she thought I did... god I had one lady I was dating a month who started asking me to pay off her car loan and when I said no she threatened to beat me up.

And the scary part is lots of people who are like this are out there, and people like them because they are so superficially charming and sociable. It's only once you have a legitimate relationship with them that the crazy starts to show, and for some people, they can't walk away and can't see the red flags due to the charm.

Causality is hard at work; as certain as death and taxes.