Here's a little guide:

• Threats of banning, having unpopular views, being mean, uncivil discussion <-- Not against the law. "Free speech" discussion doesn't apply. Just two parties having a disagreement.
• Assault, legit harassment, libel, doxxing, etc <-- Against the law and you can be arrested/fined/sued. "Free speech" discussion applies, but in the case of these, the government has indicated that the speech is not protected under free speech. It's about the government enforcing which speech is allowed and what is not.

In the cases presented:

• What OP talked about in the initial post was not a free speech issue. The government isn't involved unless a law was broken, which I don't think it has.
• What you're talking about here regarding harassment/doxxing IS a free speech issue because the law will stop the harasser and technically infringe on their right to "speak." However, in this case, at least in the US judicial system has said that harassment falls outside of the allowable speech covered under the law and so it's okay for the government to infringe on that right for this case.

Does that make sense?