I started with lemmy.world, the biggest generalist instance, for an easy starting point. I thought I would be interacting in programming and anime threads.

In the end, I end up discussing mostly weeb stuff, so ani.social looks more appropriate.

Also, I don't know the specifics, but if ani.social triggered lemmy.ml enough for lemmy.ml to defederate from ani.social, it must be doing something right.

In my experience, the instance and community moderators of ani.social are based. I barely see any drama unlike some other instances. I'd say I chose well.