As a customer, I would feel much more comfortable talking to someone who doesn’t sound like they have a gun to their head.

God dam, that's horrible. Unfortunately it's not my department but I should let you know your not alone, now hold on a sec while I transfer you to purgatory

I'm so glad I can mouth off to customers in my line of work, not that I abuse the privilege but sometimes a customer needs to be told they are a fucking idiot and they could of flooded or burnt the place down.

I’ve come to accept that “no problem” is just some people’s way to say “you’re welcome” but I still really dislike the sound of it right after I say thank you for something completely normal.

Cashier: “Here’s your change.”

Me: “Thank you.”

Cashier: “No problem.”

My brain: “Oh… I didn’t even think it could have been a problem to hand me my change, but I guess I’m glad to hear that it was not in fact any problem.”