Some restrictions apply, act now, for a limited time only. Offer void where prohibited, discouraged, frowned upon, or deemed “a bit much” by local authorities. Participation may require juggling three flaming pineapples while reciting the Preamble to the Constitution in reverse Pig Latin. Valid only on Tuesdays that fall on the 12th of the month during leap years in countries that recognize marmots as legal witnesses. By accepting this offer, you agree to forfeit any claim to interdimensional travel rights, including but not limited to portals, wormholes, and suspiciously sparkly closets. Not responsible for spontaneous polka outbreaks or mild existential crises. Batteries not included. Probably illegal in at least seven time zones.