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[–] 23 points 1 year ago (31 children)

Therapy has become the new buzzword to prescribe to any individualistic issue because most people don't know what it is or who its for, they just think it's a silver bullet solution to everything because everybody else says so... but it's not.

Therapy is great for specific people with specific disorders, it's there to help provide these people with solutions and treatments to improve their conditions. It's not meant to be a replacement for a social circle or to fix the problems in your life.

Not to mention that therapy is either expensive or hard to access or the therapist you do get to see are usually not that great. It is very hard and very rare to find a good therapist that's affordable and nearby. Even then, a therapist can only do so much. They're trained to work through common disorders using several established methods, but not much beyond that. Therapists can help you overcome your anxiety, but they can't help you find meaningful relationships.

This is doubly true for men, because a lot of men are facing issues related to finding purpose and meaning in life, and that's something that's beyond the scope of therapy. Maybe these issues could be resolved as a result of treating a disorder, but that's not always the case. The point is that therapy is not a magical solution, and it's not going to solve huge societal problems like men turning their backs on society.

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  • [–] 9 points 1 year ago (28 children)

    You say men are turning their backs on society. I would argue it's the other way round. Modern society has lots of problems unfortunately, and can be quite hostile especially to men.

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  • [–] 4 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    I don't think these two things are mutually exclusive

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  • [–] 3 points 1 year ago

    Yes this is very true. I think if anything they go hand in hand, if society is hostile towards you, you are equally more likely to turn your back on it. If you start turning away from society, people are more hostile, so it reinforces that decision. It's still a systematic failing though. Society should be pulling people back from the brink, not pushing them further.

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  • [+] -10 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    men built society. whatever problems are inherent in it were practically designed by men. as a matter of fact, the further we go, the more we slip away from the feminine qualities of our humanity (our more egalitarian hunter-gatherer roots). and as it begins to collapse around us, you incels are gonna cry about how it's unfair? fuck you. put your big boy pants on and deal with it. or better yet, retreat completely from it and let the people with honest consciences rebuild it.

    god, i fucking hate incels.

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  • [–] 3 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    This is a rather bizarre response to come up with. First I am not an incel, that's a right wing ideology I don't subscribe to. I mean some of the concepts they use don't even make sense statistically - like they are logically impossible. I digress.

    Women make up more than half the population. Sexism wouldn't have been as big of a problem and still wouldn't be as big of a problem if women didn't perpetuate it too. Just look at the trad wife movement or modern women who despise feminism, or like any women's beauty standards, or the whole thing about matching outfits, etc. All of these are forms of sexism that men just don't engage in to nearly the extent women do. Purity tests for butch lesbians and trans girls is another one. At least you can argue that men also do that, but they aren't the ones kicking women out of bathrooms.

    Absolutely toxic masculinity is a problem largeley caused by men, but that's not the fault of the individual. Like I didn't decide that boys don't cry. Plenty of women too help perpetuate and reinforce these ideas by doing things like breaking up with men who show any vulnerability. There is a reason why gay men are better at this.

    As for the whole thing of slipping further away from feminine qualities - you do know not all past societies were more feminine, right? Have you heard of ancient Greece? You do realize feminism has made large strides at addressing much of these issues? Like this all used to be much worse, things have been progressively changing for the better and still are in most places. It's only the USA that seems to have taken a nosedive recently. Even that is a push back against broader change.

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  • [–] 0 points 1 year ago

    you do know not all past societies were more feminine, right? Have you heard of ancient Greece?

    you do realize that hunter-gatherer societies are WAY older than ancient Greece, right? we're talking about a time before agriculture. you do not understand the context of what i was saying. your entire argument here displays a very juvenile understanding of life in general, so maybe i'm just talking to a bunch of children.

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  • [–] -5 points 1 year ago (22 children)

    This is, of course, the fault of women.

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  • [–] 4 points 1 year ago (21 children)

    No? It's the fault of all genders. Men perpetuate ideas that hurt other men, and women perpetuate ideas that hurt other women. Vice versa is equally true.

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  • [–] -5 points 1 year ago (20 children)

    Im sure. So hard to hear men have it so uniquely rough.

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  • [–] 4 points 1 year ago (19 children)

    No one is saying women don't have it rough. The difference is one gender is being pushed out of society, the other is being pushed under it. Men are basically encouraged to give up and go away, maybe commit suicide or go fight in a war. Women are encouraged to find a "man" and become some tradwife who has no agency. Neither is a good thing, but don't pretend they aren't different.

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  • [–] -2 points 1 year ago* (18 children)

    Non heteronormative women are absolutely encouraged to die.

    5150 holds (local code, idk how local) are like a rite of passage.

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  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago (11 children)

    What is a 5150 hold exactly and how is it relevant? It seems it's a California thing, and I don't live in or have ever visited Los Estados Unidos.

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  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago (10 children)

    Right. 72 hour involuntary inpatient suicide hold

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  • [–] 0 points 1 year ago (9 children)

    What does this have to do with gay women?

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  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago (8 children)

    I think i already answered that, feel free to scroll up!

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  • [–] 0 points 1 year ago (7 children)

    No you didn't. You said they were a rite of passage which doesn't make sense. Are you capable of explaining what on earth your talking about?

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  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago* (6 children)

    are you capable of

    Probably. Are you capable of figuring it out?

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  • [–] 0 points 1 year ago (5 children)

    Are you trying to say that gay women get put on suicide holds for illegitimate reasons? If so why not just say that and stop being an ableist arsehole?

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  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago (4 children)
  • [–] 0 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

    I mean yeah, your being deliberately obtuse and rude for no reason, even though what you are talking about only applies to a certain geopolitical area. You're literally expecting me and everyone else to have knowledge of something even though there is not reason anyone outside the USA or California should know about it. You're also relying on implications, which isn't great when half the people on this site are autistic including yours truly. It's like if I expected you to know what a Pacer train is and what it implies about the state of rail transportation in northern england. Like what you don't live in England and have an interest in trains?

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  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

    I used a regional term for a thing, that was an oops, the rest is there if you're willing to read in good faith.

    If you can't, there's no point talking to you. You're just looking for scraps to justify what you already think, or attack enemies.

    Why the fuck would i try to converse with that kind of determined ignorance? Nothing to be gained but frustration trying to weed out the half believed motivated pedantry your type always deploys. Sea lioning i think it's called.

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  • [–] -1 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    Sea lioning is when you relentlessly pursue someone for evidence. I am not asking for evidence, I am asking what you are talking about in the first place. How am I supposed to understand what you are talking about if you aren't willing to explain?

    I gave a quick look into it and it seems it has nothing to do with lesbians or women in general, but is a law effecting everyone that some facilities and police officers have abused in potentially illegal ways. If what I am reading is correct this is a serious problem, but has not much in particular to do with what you are talking about. From what I can see it's an issue to do with ableism, not homophobia or sexism. So you must clearly know something I don't, or are just trying to waste both of our time.

    Who do you think "my type" is exactly? Why do you think I have to be your enemy? You talk about engaging in good faith, while doing the exact opposite. All I asked is for an explanation, which would be simple and easy to do, and I may well even agree with whatever it is you are referring to. Instead you play mind games and try to be insulting. If you actually want to get people on your side this isn't how you do it.

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  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago (5 children)

    I hadn't considered that. I can't say I know much of the struggles of lesbians.

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  • [–] 0 points 1 year ago (4 children)

    Also, heteronormative women are only valued for how they can, potentially, make more men. The platonic ideal is kept pregnant and comatose so it doesn't talk.

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  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago (3 children)
  • [–] -1 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    Which is... I dunno, is that worse than 'be john henry (but tall) or simo hyha (but tall) or die trying'? I feel like it might be but both are far enough past the moral event horizon i cant say with confidence.

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  • [–] -4 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    therapy also teaches a lot of sociopathic traits.

    my SIL went through therapy recently (after getting into a weird polygamous relationship which allowed her the $$ to do so). she and my wife had lived through a pretty traumatic upbringing after their wonderful father died and left them to deal with a BPD mother who blew through the family money and left them to practically fend for themselves while being batshit crazy.

    all the therapist taught her was to be selfish. she practically cut off contact with both her sister and mother and just got really good at doing what was best for herself and herself only. since then, her mother has become disabled and now my wife is having to deal with it all alone while the sister lives a very lavish life on a farm.

    fuck therapy and fuck modern life in general. no wonder we're all becoming assholes.

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