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[–] 4 points 8 months ago (7 children)

Username works out just fine.

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  • [–] 2 points 8 months ago (6 children)

    No, unfortunately too many of my fellow Americans like mustard.

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  • [–] 7 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (2 children)

    Joke's on you: my mustard game has become so advanced - a habit so entrenched - it has rendered me immune to the chemical irritants which are commonly deployed at street protests, which is really coming in handy lately.

    As I wind my way to the front, my people chant in unison:

    MUSTARD MAN! MUSTARD MAN!

    MUSTARD MAN!

    I open every orifice and beg for pepper balls and gas. The people, euphoric, giddily cheer through their masks as I personally ingest about a year's worth of taxpayer-funded chemical munitions via every route physically available to my mortal form. The pigs waste... all of it. It is a tasty snack.

    The pigs are sad. They go home for the night. Questioning their life choices, they are unable to sleep. Half of them later resign.

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  • [–] 5 points 8 months ago (2 children)

    Not REAL mustard they don’t. They like that food dye number 666 shit that has zero mustard seed in it.

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