I skipped the steps of the application process that would have clued the agency in on my lack of fitness for the position. I made no effort to hide my public loathing of the agency, what it stands for, and the administration that runs it. And they offered me the job anyway.

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[–] 95 points 9 months ago* (21 children)

Things ICE agents shouldn't do:

  • Download a virus on work computer
  • Accidentally drop cell keys into detainee areas
  • LSD in office coffee machine
  • Crash patrol vehicle into ocean
  • Arrest spouses of other ICE agents
  • Arrest all of Trump's wives
  • Racially profile Kash Patel
  • Irrigate ammo storage areas
  • Disco Elysium stuff
  • Break into empty buildings with absentee landowners and leave them open.
  • Fake your arrest numbers
  • Deport MAGA immigrants
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  • [–] 21 points 9 months ago (10 children)

    asking for a friendv does the LSD in the coffee machine work? i mean doesn't it get burned or damaged?

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  • [–] 35 points 9 months ago (5 children)

    Good question, I looked and it is unstable at higher temps!

    Ketamine, however, is higher-temp stable ;)

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  • [–] 10 points 9 months ago (1 child)

    Yes, it works, but also yes, high temps will destroy LSD. So if it was a brand-new-scalding-hot pot, it would probably degrade. Would you still feel it? Idk. If it's a lukewarm pot though, you'll probably trip just fine.

    For informational purposes only, obviously.

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  • [–] 4 points 9 months ago (1 child)

    This happened at my Junior High School the year after I had left, but it turns out it was iced tea, not hot tea: https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1997-04-11-mn-47764-story.html

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  • [–] 3 points 9 months ago

    Ugh, poor guy. Being dosed can be a lot of fun given a handful of strict conditions, but otherwise it's worse than battery IMO. I can't imagine having no experience with LSD and being dosed at work.

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  • [–] 15 points 9 months ago (1 child)

    I dunno about giving a bunch of unknowingly LSD who also happen to have access to guns and the ability to destroy lives. Seems like a bad idea.

    Now laxaitives or sediatives, that's a different story. Cna't shoot innocent people if you're too busy shitting on the toilet or asleep at the wheel.

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  • [–] 1 point 9 months ago (2 children)

    actually, i'm thinking maybe joining ice could get me the drugs i need to live easier. also i could deport people to i don't know honolulu

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