There are dentists who advertise their more humane approach, it's worth shopping around. You don't have to actually visit them all, in fact it's better not to be in the chair when discussing what you need. Instead you could contact them with a spiel about your own issues regarding tooth care and shaming by dentists. Then pick one who seems to want to try to help you have healthy teeth and a positive experience. Frankly it doesn't matter if they're "faking it" to get your business, if it works for you.
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