This is a kinda embrassing question to ask so pls don't judge.

I did have moments where I like... went to the local library alone, or like an all day school trip or something...

But I never really like... explored outside alone... especially far from home...

So like... I feel scared about the idea of like... just going for a walk all by myself...

I realize I've always just asked parents to drive me somewhere so I never got a chance to just get in the habit of being by myself.

I don't have a driver's license so I don't really have like a car to "retreat to", if you know what I mean, like as in sort of "castle".

How do I even "feel safe" just being outside on my own? For context I'm non-white so it's... kinda intimidating... especially in the current context of US political atmosphere.

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[–] 11 points 10 months ago* (3 children)

I know what you mean with the parents providing transportation to everywhere! I was in a similar situation when I moved out. I was often too anxious to enter a store on my own because I had never had to do that alone (or really been given the opportunity to do that alone).

What helped me was finding a nice coffee shop near my place. They had delicious matcha lattes and I made a tradition of walking there on weekends. Then I realized that I could stop at a scenic park on the way back home. Then I realized that I liked walking around. Then I realized that there are cats outside and I can pet them! And at some point I also got really into pokemon go. It was a compounding series of small realizations that I could just go out and do things.

Disclaimer: I'm not from the USA and I am white, so that affects my experiences of this.

Side note: I've made a map of the locations at which I have encountered cats, making note of how many were there and if they were friendly or not. It gives me a sense of pride and accomplishment.

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  • [–] 3 points 10 months ago (1 child)

    Seconding the coffee shop recommendation. When I found a place near me that was nice and not overwhelming, I really enjoyed being able to be a regular there. There were days when I was not well and knew that it would help me to get out of the house at least once, and it was nice to have a place like this that could act as an achievable goal.

    Even on good days, I find it useful to have somewhere I can go and exist and feel safe in a place that's not my home. I find I get more work done this way sometimes, so I'll often take my laptop, my headphones, and just spend an entire day working in a café. My regular place had a few tables that were sort of tucked away in a nook, and had a plug socket nearby, so it was great.

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