I appreciate the thorough response and the attempt to help, truly I do. But I feel like it's kind of missed the point a bit.
I actually run a home server, have written some scripts here and there for the server (particularly backup scripts), use VMs and have figured out pass through; my point is that I'm not completely clueless here, while still not exactly being a power user. Even though I've done that stuff, and have that knowledge, it's not a fun user experience for me. When I open my Bluetooth settings, I want it to just work. I don't want to have to dig into the terminal and troubleshoot stuff.
Windows sucks for a lot of reasons, but I at least, personally, never had issues with Bluetooth or HDR.