negative brain: just stand and accept fate's golden stream pouring down your leg
small brain: pull skin and aim
normal brain: pee sitting down so you don't piss yourself
big brain: also watch how it's hanging
megabrain: cut off balls so you can see better how to aim
gigabrain: all out bottom surgery just so you can pee in peace

I've sat down to relieve myself in the middle of the night while sick and half asleep and felt a strong warmth down the back of my legs because I pissed on myself through the gap under the toilet seat

I ain't afraid to admit it